Bamm! its Samm's blog.

I think

I need a therepist. This is the worst. It’s almost 2:30 am. And I’m up crying my eyes out. And for no reason. Kaitlyn says it’s normal. But I just wish it wasn’t. I almost threw up cause I was crying so hard. And Brian fell asleep and I felt bad for wakeing him up, but I had to. I don’t want to be alone. Especially now. My frien told me that exercise effects depression, so I’m going to ask mommy if we can go to the gym at least twice a week, if not more. Hopefully I’ll get better. And I have Brian. And Kady. Right now Brian is on the phone. Hes not making sense. I wish I could sleep. But I can’t. When I lay my my head down, my mind starts to wonder and it makes me cry. Brian is talking about how Patrick should be explained about chairs….>.>

wtf Brian.

I’m so tired. I wish I could stop crying. Maybe a hot shower would fix this.

I love Brian. I’m going to color.

Tonight

Is one of the worst nights I’ve ever had.

Brian and I had plans to go to a movie. We both told our parents in advance.

He had to go to his cousin’s birthday party. And the movie started at 9:55.

He ate dinner and finished it by 7. But his mother was retarded, and wouldn’t hurry the fuck up. So he is STILL at his fucking Grandmother’s house. I am so upset.

And tomorrow, I’m going to the doctor to get check for breast cancer. Because I might have it.

I am so scared. And If I do have it, that means I have to get surgery, witch means I wont be able to be with Brian.

I hate his mother so much.

Brian texted me 45 minutes ago telling me he was on his way. I called him and he hasn’t left.

So I’m dressed up and ready to go somewhere, but I have no where TO go.

I’m crying so hard.

I hate Brians parents so much. I hate this day.

I love

Chocolate.

Oh my fucking God.

Okay

So my last entry was like last year.

And the reason for that was because my stupid ass hole of a computer stopped getting internet. So I’m on my moms computer right now.

So anyway.

Yesterday was valentines day <3

And it was amazing. Brian came over and gave me a big box of French chocolate. Haha. Fancy!

And then we went on a picnic in the woods. I took him to this place I went only once before. And when I went there everything was lush and green and there were flowers and pretty birds everywhere. But considering Febuary is still winterish, there wern’t any flowers or lush green feilds. But it was still pretty. It was sunny and it wasn’t too cold. Brian liked it a lot. He said if he could he would build a house out there. Haha. But yea. We had our picnic and it was so fun! And after that we layed in the grass and watched the clouds. It was romantic. After being out there for like 5 hours we went back to the house and tried to watch Oliver & Company (I adore that movie) But we didn’t get to finish it because we had to get ready for Kaidel’s sweet 16. After we got ready we went to the party and chilled. And then we went home. It was a fantastic valentines day :]

I really love Brian<3

< RANT >

I’m going to rant about a lot of stuff. Because I’m really stressed out.

One. Abortion.

I’m totally for it. People who say there agaisnt it unless it was rape are fucking stupid people. You can’t make an acception for one person. It’s just not fair. If a women gets married can’t afford birth control and wants to have sex with her husband then I think she should. And if she gets pregnate and doesn’t want kids, she should have the fucking right to do what ever the hell she wants with the damn thing. It’s her fucking vagina. If she doesn’t want an 8 pound human body coming out of it. I think thats pretty resonable.

Two. Drama.

I’ve been at Clover Hill for like 2 months now and had no drama until last week. Some rumor went on and now some dumb bitch keeps threatening me. Shes such a dumb fucking bitch. I’m trying to be a better person and just ignore it and forget about everything but I’m tired of being nice. I reported her to the principals office for threatening me. The prinipal said it was illegal for her to threaten me over text and shit. I really hate this bitch. Shes all talk and thinks shes so fucking tuff. If I wasn’t on a waver I would have beat her ass already.

< / RANT >

I’m going to rant.